macabre0

Apparently this is the year of revisiting things from my teens. By the end of the year I will have:

• Visited Hawaii for the first time since I was 17
• Gone to see They Might Be Giants do a Flood show, playing all the songs off their hit 1990 album
• Visited Mexico for the first time since I was 16
• Rediscovered all the aspects of play in my sexuality I had forgotten about, including my kinks
• Revisited my love of women, my shyness around them, and the feeling of wanting to find one to be with for a long time

I will have also done some very new things, including:

• Getting open water certified for diving
• Losing my fear of flying
• Finding peace in silence
• Discovering I'm a pretty cool person
• Discovering I'm an intense person to partner with
• Advocating for what I really need, and asking for what I desire

Good stuff, overall. It's been a big year of change. I'm sure there is more to come. Bring it.

It hit this week. After many months of telling people I'm getting divorced, and feeling nearly completely even-keeled about it, the darkness has finally descended. I'm not sure what instigated it. Could it have been a weekend full of hot sex, followed by the realization that perhaps that was a poor choice for someone who is already emotionally unstable? Could it have been Matt's departure for Boston and the ensuing emails back and forth about the division of the assets which has been all over the board? Maybe the powerful influence of the moon? Too many hot days without a break?

Does it really matter?

I have spent this week weeping over glasses of good red wine, holding babies screaming their lungs out and unable to be comforted, watching whimsical park theatre, eating ice cream, and chatting online with friends. I've listened to everything from Indigo Girls to KMFDM to This Mortal Coil. At any given moment I might be experiencing the tremendous pleasures of taking in the moment, surrounded by friends or alone on a deck, or I could be driving to work, tears falling onto my blouse as I weep uncontrollably, influenced by a sadness I cannot pin down. It feels like my soul is being ripped apart, pulled into a million directions. Attempts to stay grounded, to sit with the feelings, to retain some semblance of perspective fail me repeatedly. I know these must be normal experiences for those whose lives are devastated by the forces of divorce. The compass by which you have guided your life for so many years ceases to work. The magnetic polarities fritz out. Which way is up? Which way is down? It all feels like falling, like Alice down the rabbit hole.

I really try to take in the good moments when they are happening: the sight of Mt. Rainier, purple and wrapped in creamy orangesicle colors at sunset or sunrise, my city as the sun sets over Gasworks park with a crowd of people dancing and friends nearby, my cats curled up on the sofa together snuggled up, the sound of coworkers laughing in the kitchen in the morning. The world is full of simple pleasures. I try not to miss them because there are so many moments where I cannot hear or see those things, instead I am centered in my heart, feeling the amazing pain that loss creates inside of it. Is there any other kind of emotional pain except for loss? I am beginning to think there is not. We experience loss regularly, loss of friends, family, dreams, plans, ways of seeing or being with the world. If I listed out all that I have lost, and weighted it, though, I would never be able to make it weigh as much as all the amazing things I have gained. Each painful experience in my life has led me through the darkness and back out into the light, filling me with joy and love once again. There is always the capacity within ourselves to love and hope again, even on the darkest of days. I am working on loving myself for a change of pace, and remaining open to loving, even if it is not returned equally. I believe that putting more love into the world is not a wasted effort, just as I believe learning is never wasted.

It's hard right now. I am working hard to fill my time seeing friends, reaching out for the support I so desperately need. I don't know how to talk about it, though. I am unprepared to cry on the shoulders that might be offered. If I open up that door in front of someone else and make myself that vulnerable I am afraid I will never be able to stop crying. I never thought it would be so hard, even though I had been warned. Like so many things in life, the only thing that can prepare you for the experience is the experience itself. How lame.

A big thank you goes out to all of the people in my life who have offered support. I know you are out there, even if we don't talk often, even if we are not as close as we once were. Know that I am thinking of you, and that my love for you has not diminished. You have touched my life, and I am amazed at how that has changed me. I am very, very blessed. Some day, when this story is less fresh, we will look back at it and have good laughs, and reflect on how much I have grown and changed since the experience. I look forward to that.

I spent last weekend attempting to get my open water scuba diving certification. While I knew I was out of shape, I didn't realize I was =that= out of shape. I managed to make the first dive on Saturday, for 25 minutes. By the time we suited up and went out for the second dive I felt tired. Really tired. But I threw on my gear and made it as far as the dive line our class was working with before I realized I was dead tired. I could hardly make it back to the shore.
Day two we practiced skills on the floor of Puget Sound. Twenty minutes of sitting on floor of the Sound while waiting for others to take masks off and put them on, and then do an emergency ascent left me shivering. Came up from my emergency ascent and was too cold. Went back in to shore. Did not make the second dive.
I'm realizing that I might be a one-dive per day kind of gal, which means certification is going to take a while longer. Lucky for me, my instructor said he'd be willing to take me out on two more dives before we leave for Hawaii to get me certified. In the meantime, I'm going to try and start swimming again.
All of this makes me realize I am even more out of shape than I had previously thought. Carrying 70 or 80 pounds of stuff to the water and then diving with it is more than my body is easily capable of doing...twice in one day, maybe even once in a day. I am reminded that back in the day, before I screwed my knees up, I used to go dancing 5 nights a week for hours and hours. I don't know if I could dance for 30 minutes without passing out now.

So, my new goal is going to be swimming 30 minutes 5 days a week. I will likely add weightlifting in there somewhere a couple days a week as well. If you happen to belong to 24 Hour Fitness maybe I'll see you down there. I don't know how some of the people I know stay in such amazing shape. If there are other tips that are knee-friendly, feel free to pass 'em along. I'm open to any advice that will get me thinner, stronger, and healthier.

Last night Matt and I attended a concert at the Moore Theater. Jonathan Coulton was rocking the house, with Paul and Storm opening up the act. Somewhere in there a woman named Molly showed up with a ukelele and played a ukelele solo version of Toxic, which was just about as awesome as it gets. On top of that, JC rocked the house hard, slow, long, and sweet.
If you ever get to see Jonathan Coulton in concert I highly recommend it. He gives good concert, and every time I see him I am even more amazed with his talents and great sense of humor. Considering he recently had another child with his wife and has been losing sleep with a baby in the house, I am even more pleased to see how much he gives to his shows.  Good times.

And if you've never listened to JC, you need to go to his website and check out Ikea, Re Your Brains, and Millionaire Girlfriend RIGHT NOW.

All but one year of my life I've spent Christmas with my parents. Since Matt's family is not a huge fan of the holiday I pretty much rely on my family to bring out the happy spirit in me. This year I haven't had much spirit, and being cooped up in the condo surrounded by snow has not helped much. We've missed every holiday party, pretty much, and with all the snow we may or may not make it to my parents' house by Christmas. While the roads in Seattle are icy and we could probably make it to I-5 without too much trouble, we will run into problems in Olympia. My parents live in unincorporated Thurston county in a neighborhood with big hills. They've been snowbound since Thursday of last week, and only folks with 4WD and chains can get in and out.

I'm praying for rain. Lots of rain. Enough to melt away some of the crap that's keeping me from my parents. If we can't get there tonight I will be begging Matt to find a way to get me up to Chiang's or some other tasty Chinese place to continue our Christmas eve Chinese food tradition.

So, if anyone's around this evening and wants to go for Chinese, let us know. We're likely to be stuck in town, and the more the merrier on this holiday eve as far as I'm concerned!

I know it's the holiday season, and people want to stay in touch, letting me know they are thinking of me. Usually this is done through the sending of holiday cards. I open it up, find a beautiful or funny card, and read a heart-warming message from friends and family. I am reminded of how dear they are to me, and learn what is going on in their lives. Maybe they include a newsletter or something that fills me in the past year.

Sometimes, though, I receive an envelope where the addressor and addressee are printed labels. Inside there is only a picture of the family with the words "Happy Holidays" printed across it.

It feels so impersonal. The only efforts made were to ensure my address was pulled for label printing. Not even a signature, or a comment on the back. It's like an industrial holiday card. I have no sense of the people sending it. It makes me sad, and angry, and causes my Scrooge-meter to go up.

Please, folks, if you're going to send out holiday cards, take the time (I know it takes a lot of time if you are dealing with a large volume of cards, but suck it up) to write something on your cards. Otherwise you might as well just send me an email that says something like "I know you are still alive." I love and care about you, and I want to know what's going on in your lives. I take time to hand-write on mine, and I expect the same courtesy in return. If your holiday list is so long that you can't be bothered, maybe you need to rethink who is really important to you.

Thanks. And Happy Holidays to you, too.

Matt took pics of the TV at 8pm when it was being announced on CNN. I realized that in the entire time I've known him we've pretty much never had a democratic president. We met mid-2000, right as Bush was winning. 

I am proud of my country for seeing the gleaming potential of Obama and saw fit to put him in power. I hope that McCain returns to his former, more amazing and supportable personality now and goes on to do great things a la Al Gore. He has strength and knowledge which our country needs, but I don't believe the presidency is the right place for it.

It was a long, amazing political process this time around. I am glad I am still young enough to have hope for a female president, and all kinds of other amazing changes in the future of our country. We need the hope and promise of change, and I expect Obama to deliver on his promises. Indeed, our country has set the bar high for him, and I feel confident that he will be able to succeed.

This scares me.

The past month or so has made for some really interesting newswatching on multiple issues.  Clearly the state of the financial arena in the US as well as internationally has been grinding to a halt, and even passed legislation hasn't quite kick-started it like some expected.  The other big topic is the election.  I've watched all the debates.  I've seen ads.  I've read articles.

What I've concluded is that I'm a maverick.  Not because I break with my party lines, but because I break with what appears to be the average American's lines.

This last debate Obama was talking about raising taxes on people who make more than $250,000.  I remember McCain complaining about "spreading the wealth around" and Obama quietly saying he didn't mind paying a little more to help out his fellow countryment.  Seems to me like the whole idea of people making more than $250k sharing more money and carrying a larger burden of our country's debt =because they have more money to do so= really rubs people the wrong way.  

I was sitting in my office and the mention of taxes came up and I mentioned I don't mind paying more taxes.  While Matt and I don't make more than the $250k cutoff, we are not hurting (at least currently) financially.  I am willing to pony up more dough to make up for those whose income hardly covers their rent, and leaves them with little left to use for eating, and stuck with no healthcare. 

It seems that I am unusual in this aspect, and a number of my coworkers bitched about how paying more taxes just goes to pay for $10,000 rolls of toilet paper.  Of course, it was under the REPUBLICANS in the 80's that we had those kinds of gross misuses of money, but the concept stuck.  I acknowledge that my taxes might go for some things I don't support, like military attacks in the middle east, or funding more illegal wiretaps on innocent Americans.  I know, however, that my taxes also pay for things like public libraries, schools, fixing potholes in the roads, and the salaries of many people who are also eking out a living here in this great country.

We live in a country with taxes that don't provide us with free healthcare or college.  We can buy cheap, tacky trinkets from China for less than a dollar at places like WalMart.  Is it so crazy that I am willing to give more money and in return want to get more?  If I knew national healthcare would come from it, I'd give up a big chunk of income.  Same with college, even though I would not personally directly benefit from it.  Am I the only one that feels like this?  Even Robin Hood believed in robbing from the rich and giving to the poor.  Why aren't more =rich= Americans speaking out about their willingness to share their prosperity with others to make us all a stronger country? 

As an FYI for everyone, the next few Seattle Friends of the Library book sales are:

November 22, 2008: mini-holiday booksale
April 17-19, 2009: spring book sale

Hope to see some of you there!

Yesterday while leaving the grocery store at lunch I overheard two men nearby who were also leaving the grocery store.  Middle-aged, balding, and slightly paunched might describe them nicely.  So what do I hear them saying?

Man 1: "yeah, that register girl was probably really hot ten years ago..."
Man 2: "yup, it's really too bad she didn't age so well."

I worked really hard to not yell after them "hey, I bet you might have been hot ten years ago, too...."

=growl=
When will men realize that they don't always age as gracefully as they think they do either?  It made me so cranky.

On a nicer point, there was an amazingly hot dyke standing near me in line at the Starbucks yesterday morning, and she apparently works on the 5th floor of my building.  I wonder if I'll run into her again.  It's a nice change of pace, considering most of my building is full of PIMA students who are not particularly engaging or friendly.

Matt is in NYC at the Web 2.0 conference, speaking even as I type this.

I am sitting in front of my light box for the first time this season.  Even though we're currently having plenty of sun, the shorter days are starting to hit me.

The American stock market has been down down down and I am starting to wonder how bad it will get before it gets better.

My job has me working on something at Microsoft that I am VERY VERY VERY excited about.

Marriage is hard work. 

For whatever reason the fever and coughing I had last week has migrated to my lungs.  Feels yucky.

Have been spending more time with my female friends as of late, and hadn't realized how much I miss that.  Thank you to all the women who are in my life and I hope to see you soon!

IKEA's returns department has no line at 2pm on a Monday afternoon.  Also, the parking is good then, too.

That is all.

I know I haven't written for quite some time, and the catching up would take a lot more writing than I have time for right now (including my notes about Cindy McCain's speech at the RNC I want to debrief online).  So I will take just a few moments to write about my Labor Day weekend, which was spent in town with Matt doing a lot of fun stuff, none of which was on a set schedule, thank goodness.

So Friday after work I headed down to the Convention Center to register Matt and I for PAX, the Penny Arcade Expedition.  I arrived at 3pm, and spent nearly an hour wandering the Exhibition floor hunting for Wil Wheaton's signing booth.  I discovered it just about 4pm, when the line was already closed.  So I headed over to another location to watch the Performers Speaker Panel.  A number of great, well-known bands were playing at PAX, including MC Frontalot, and my favorite.....Jonathan Coulton.  I had the opportunity to stand up and ask him and the panel about the choice to use the Creative Commons license.  His response involved a voice-cracking emotional review of what his experience was seeing Lawrence Lessig speak about Creative Commons a few years back.  The panel ended with everyone on the panel singing We Are the World for at least a few minutes.  I ended up in the elevator with J. Coulton and watched a fangirl gush about how much she loved him and how they listened to his music and sang along the whole way to Seattle.  I tried to be more cool and merely smiled, nodded, and made funny comments along the way as needed.

The culmination of joy at PAX for me, though, was the opportunity to meet Wil Wheaton and get my book signed later that evening.  Yes, I admit to having been a huge fan of Wil's for...oh....23 years or so?  I first saw him in Stand By Me and was WAAAAAAY crushed out.  I guess even back then I had a thing for tall skinny geeks.  Anyway, throughout the Star Trek years and beyond I always tried to keep tabs on him, and spent a lot of time thinking how hot it would be to kiss him.  At some point he fell off the radar.  About 5 years ago I heard he had a blog and started reading it, and he was writing and publishing books.  His blog was a riot and I read it religiously until it migrated to its new location.  I had some trouble with the new site for a while and then somehow just stopped reading blogs except for LJ for the most part.  I did, however, add myself to his Twitter feed when I signed up, and now I am pretty in touch with when he puts up new posts.

Anyway, I got to meet Wil.  He had broken ribs a few weeks earlier so I was careful to ask whether hugs were safe or not.  I avoided gushing, tried not to say anything dumb like "you're hot and I wish you were available just for 10 minutes" or anything like that.  We had a pleasant conversation, and I got to have my pic taken with him (courtesy of the lovely Mr. Morgan-May who was standing by to drag me away if I turned into a crazy fangirl).  So here's a pic of me and Wil Wheaton.  I still think he is quite hot, and now that he's geeky too it's just an even bigger attraction.  Even after the Wes Crusher thing he still kept doing stuff, and found a wife and kids that make him happy.  It doesn't make for a happier ending than that in my book.  And I've got my pictures to keep the inner fangirl happy for years to come.



Also while at PAX I scored a t-shirt that says "If you can read this I'm boarding you" which I thought was hilarious.  Pirate gamer geek schwag makes me happy.

As you know, I got my tattoo on Monday, which is a great way to start off a week if I do say so myself.  After a lack of sleep from the buzz of the tattoo I was kind of glad when Tuesday evening Matt begged off on date night to work on edits to the book.  I played Zak & Wiki on the Wii for a few hours and then crashed out.  Whew!

I finally was assigned to help out a project at work on Wednesday, so I spent much of the rest of the week at work helping out the folks on the San Francisco project making job aids and conferring with people to get things I needed to complete the job.  We had a company gathering at a local restaurant for free appetizers and drinks Wednesday after work and then I headed to Leya's to hang out for the evening. 

It appeared that things with Leya weren't going so well.  After dinner and playing, we talked some, and when I left Thursday morning it felt like the kind of goodbye you get from a friend you've just met, or a friend of a friend or something.  Less good.  Anyway, I worked Thursday, came home to an empty house because Matt was at Gnomedex, and made myself at home in front of the Wii for some more puzzling.  I have to say that Zak & Wiki is the first adventure/puzzle game I've had the pleasure to play in a long time, and I really really enjoy the challenge of figuring some of this stuff out.  As I move along things get more complicated and I enjoy the greater challenges.  Whee (or Wii)!!

Friday night I stayed at home playing video games, too, while Matt partied with the Gnomedex people.  After two days of thinking about Leya and the way things were going, I decided that the romantic part of our relationship just wasn't working.  When I talked to her about this, she agreed and then said we can't be friends either.  So, no more Leya in my life for a while, or maybe forever.  It saddens me a lot to think I won't get to hang out with her--she's such an integral part of my life now.  I hope she changes her mind and decides it's a friendship worth saving.

Saturday Matt was....at Gnomedex again.......so I did fun things like go to the grocery store.  Well, actually, it WAS fun because all we had left in the house were things like rice and some Pringles from months ago that haven't been thrown out yet.  Oh, and some rotting squash in the fridge.  45 minutes and $145 later we were rich in food for both the humans and the cats in the house.  I was pleased.  Then I headed over to the house of some friends who are getting married to help figure out who can be point person on all the stuff they need done here in Seattle.  Turns out they are moving to San Francisco for a new job for him and won't be around to take care of all the little stuff.  A group of us volunteered to help out and keep it all under control for them.

After that meeting I went wine tasting with my friend Wendy (also co-author of the book with Matt) and had a great time gabbing, and snacking at Snappy Dragon afterwards.  I missed her and have set up some regular time to hang out with her and reconnect.

Today is laundry day.  I ran to the Farmer's Market for some tomatoes, fruit, and salad mix and it was mighty hot, but not too long after that the sun turned to rain and I've been enjoying a cool, rainy, pleasant day.  Seems much more appropriate to have taken a nap and done laundry on a day like today, I think.

Anyway, this upcoming week I am having lunch with a friend, going to a BBQ tomorrow night, drinking free wine at a wine member event for Chateau Ste Michelle, and attending PAX and Bumbershoot for Labor Day Weekend.  I guess it's a good thing I got all my resting in now, because there won't be much this week.  Exciting things afoot!

Based on your web browser history, this website will tell you your gender.  http://www.mikeonads.com/2008/07/13/using-your-browser-url-history-estimate-gender/

They said I was 100% likely to be female.  Guess that's not very shocking, is it?  heh.

At 9am tomorrow morning I will be sitting in an office in Renton, starting my new job with The Mosaic Company as an educational consultant.  Up until this very moment I haven't really been thinking about it much, except when people asked me questions.  Apparently that is changing, and now I am starting to get kind of nervous with all the standard questions one has about a new job.  Will I be skilled enough to do it successfully?  Will I like it?  Are my coworkers going to be cool?  How will I feel about working again?  Can I do this?  Was this the right choice?

Nervous nervous nervous.

I know it's really just a case of the "wedding day jitters" equivalent for jobs, but still, what a crazy way to wake up and start my day.  I can already feel a neurotic compulsion to start cleaning the house from top to bottom and organize stuff.  Except...well....I got the house clean and organized and there isn't much left to do on that front.  What do I do with this nervous energy?  Aside from folding laundry and a visit to the Farmers Market I don't have much in the way of plans today.  Looks like it's going to be a day of reading and trying to stay calm and relaxed.  Maybe I'll go clothes shopping since I'm short on summer tops for work. 

Can't believe it's less than 24 hours to the start of my job. 

I start my new job in a little over a week.  Hard to believe it's the 11th of July already when it was just the 4th.  I guess between my eye injury and Matt's harried European trip for work time has just flown by.  I've been watching a lot of Netflix movies, and reading voraciously.  Recently in a period of two days I watched: The Last Mimsy, Murderball, Enchanted (well, tried to), National Treasure 2, Running With Scissors, Maxed Out, and a whole lotta Simpsons episodes.  Last night I finally watched Vertigo and will be sending that back today, and a few days ago I watched 27 Dresses.  On top of the movies I've torn through Stephenie Meyer's books Twilight and New Moon.  I can hardly believe I missed these books as they came out over the past few years, but I'm glad I didn't start reading them until a month before the final and fourth book in the series is due to be released.  I've pre-ordered it on Amazon and book 3 should be arriving in a day or two as well so that I can smoke through that one, too.  They're releasing a movie for Twilight in December, but now that I've read the books and really formed pictures in my head of the characters I am afraid I may not be able to go see it.  We shall see.

What else is up?  I am working my way through the house trying to get it really, really organized before I start working, running errands and making phone calls.  Leya and I continue to spend Wednesdays together, and Rosalie has returned to New Jersey for a month or so before heading to Austin to start grad school.  I can't believe it's already so close to being time for her to start school.  Her MS diagnosis was a tough journey for all of us, and for her especially, and she has carried herself through the process so well, considering it all.  I miss her and will be glad to see her return to Seattle for the summer next year with luck, in between semesters.  Leya is seeking employment and keeping herself busy.  I am amazed at how much she has grown and changed since we first met last year.  Time sure flies by!

That's about it for me.  I still am not thinking of my new job much.  Really, what good will that do since it's coming anyway and there's not really any kind of preparation I can do for it.  Feeling a little apprehensive, but mostly excited at this point, and wondering how much travel I will actually have to do for it.  Will I be in Seattle for a long while, or off traveling within a week?  At least I know I have vacations planned in September and October to look forward to with Matt.  It's been a while since I've taken a vacation with him.

Also, I still have the music from Avenue Q in my head at least once a day.  Good thing I know the words to most of the songs now.  :)

What are all of you up to these days?  It's been quiet here in the blogosphere since many of you started twittering.....

Whew!  It was a whirlwind weekend here at Chez Mew, and in true Kristen format I still managed to get a few naps in.  Heh.  Friday night Matt was exhausted after work, so Rosalie and I left him home to rejuvinate while we headed down to Alki with some friends to drink and watch the sun go down.  After many hours of laughter, running amok, and tasty beverages we were ready to head back home.  I have not ever spent time on Alki before, even though I've lived in Seattle for 17 years.  It really is a lovely place, especially over in the grassy area at the end where we were some of the few people populating it.  The sandy areas were crammed full of people, so we avoided those like the plague.

Saturday was Rosalie's last full day in town while Matt was around, so we got up and had a family outing to Bainbridge Island.  We enjoyed a delightful voyage on the ferry and up on arrival we headed immediately out to the Bainbridge Vineyards and Winery for wine tasting.  Oh man, do they make a good wine over there, and they are the only winery in Western WA that grows their own grapes!  We tasted everything for $3 apiece, and then bought a case of whites to drink on the hot sunny days that seem to permeate our summer months here these days.  Yum!  Afterwards we went for some lunch at a place that had amazing food, but the crappiest service I've seen in a long, long, LONG time.  Not only did I tip them nothing, I actually went so far as to write "worst service ever" on the receipt of my credit card statement.  I highly recommend you avoid the Winslow Way Cafe if you're out in that area, unless you have almost two hours to sit around and wait for food to arrive. 

After the Bainbridge ferrry back home, I took a nap and then met up with Leya to go to the Wildrose.  We hung out there, drank beer and ate burgers, and then went to the dyke march for a while, where I ran into my ex, Maxx, who I haven't seen in quite some time.  It's always fun to see people who were a large part of your life so long ago, and it looks like she is doing really well, which makes me happy.  After marching for a bit, Leya, Amy, Dasha and I decided to go to my house and drink and play Apples to Apples, which was great fun.  After that I went to sleep and they headed to the Madison Pub.  Later, Matt and Rosalie picked up Leya from the pub and brought her back home to me.  Mmmm..!

Sunday morning Matt left to fly to Texas and I was in a house with two VERY HUNGOVER women so R stayed home for the day, and Leya and I headed to the Pride parade downtown.  After watching -most- of the parade, we caught the monorail over to Seattle Center, ran into a few exes of ours, and enjoyed the Pride Festival for a bit.  I have to say, Pride seemed so much more meaningful to me back in the early 90's when we still didn't have discrimination protection on as many levels as we do now, and it felt so much more commercial this year than it did when I used to go.  I wonder if I am just old, old and jaded, or just jaded?

Anyway, after a quick bus ride home, Rosalie, Leya and I headed over to the zoo to see Indigo Girls with our friends Rebecca and Paul.  We ate splendid food from Whole Foods, got hot and sweaty and sang while it was a whomping 80 degrees and sunny, with a light breeze.  There were no issues falling asleep when we returned home, even with the condo at a sweltering 85 degrees.  I think I could have fallen asleep in an oven by that point.

Today was a trip to the eyeglasses store because Rosalie can't seem to locate her glasses, and then we went to the zoo again.  This time to see the animals instead of hot lesbians.  After nearly 4 hours of traipsing about the zoo we all felt like wilted lettuce and have just returned home.  The original plan was to have tasty cheesy chicken soup, but a bagful of ice and some chilled salad sounds more appealing to be honest.  We'll see.

Hope you are all finding spectacular ways to stay cool in this heat.  I admit I'm a native, and when it gets above 75 I start melting.  Whew!

It's hard to believe that summer solstice has arrived again.  Time flies by, even when you're unemployed, and this year has been no exception.  Here in Seattle we aren't afraid to embrace the celebration of the longest daylight day of the year, whether the sun is shining high in the sky or it's pouring down rain.  Not only do we have a whole fair to celebrate it, but we also have a gigantic parade too. 

Most of you have probably attended the Fremont Solstice Parade at one time or another.  Many of you were there yesterday.  I enjoyed the tweets and dodgeballs from everyone saying they were down there celebrating the (not quite out) sun by watching the parade.  Matt and I watched from our usual location, the statue of Lenin.  Turns out this year (and maybe last year, which I didn't attend) they made the statue of Lenin area into the "Center of the Universe Stage," which was quite annoying on a number of levels.  First of all, the naked bicyclists, whom I love and adore and enjoy every year, came flying by about 5 minutes before noon.  Their antics, costumes, and the pole dancing kitty were hilarious.  I was so excited.  By the time the parade actually arrived (nearly a half hour later) we were feeling restless, but excited.  So when the first thing that happened when the parade got there was a guy on stilts announcing the parade and then telling us what each group was by asking them, and slowing the parade down a lot, I was frustrated.  Some of what he had to say was interesting, like the fact that the parade was 20 years old this year.  Much of what he had to say was filler, annoying, and distracted me from being able to just enjoy the parade.  By the time the flying spaghetti monster (accompanied by my friend Jami in pirate array) passed by I was already thinking about how I could ditch the parade and go get food or something.  I was really saddened and disheartened by how commercial it felt instead of it being the hippy, free-flowing parade I remember from past years.  Did anyone else have these feelings at the parade?

After the parade was finished (yes, we stuck it out), we attempted to get food, but as you might well guess the lines were outrageous.  Since Matt has free parking under Adobe as an employee we figured we would just go on Sunday and shop, when it might be less crowded.  So we left.  Our voyages took us to the Philly Fevre cheesesteak place in Madison Valley, and then home for napping.  When we woke up we got dressed and walked down to the Paramount to see if we could score tickets to Avenue Q for the evening.  Lucky for us, the show hadn't sold out.

Avenue Q, if you've not heard about it, is a Broadway musical performed with some puppets and some humans as characters.  It is very much a Sesame Street meets Rent and South Park kind of production, but it has a heart of gold and addresses a lot of sensitive social issues that don't get discussed much in public.  The music, which I've just ordered on Amazon, is amazing.  Matt and I were both very sad to hear that none of the shows here in Seattle sold out.  Considering its poignant topics, and the l-can't-stop-laughing humor, I was surprised to hear it.  Granted, tickets aren't cheap, but they never are for Broadway shows, and many of those still sell out.  I hope next time it comes around that all the shows sell out.  It's a brilliant play, with wit and humor and seriousness, and love and sex and puppets.  Hard to go wrong with that combination.  Also, the temptation to buy one of the show shirts that says "yes, they're real" was high, but I resisted. 

If you've got the spare money, and the free time, there are two more showings of Avenue Q today--at 1pm and 6:30pm I think.  Go!  It's worth the money, and you'll be so glad you did.  After all, where else can you hear a song called "The Internet is for Porn" sung by monsters?

Well, the wait is finally over.  After a little over 6 months of hunting, withdrawing applications, interviews, happy days, sad days, and in-between days, I have been made an offer that meets all my criteria for a job I want.  The idea of having a job, in the field I want to be in, where travel is a given part of it, and I get to work with various clients and stretch and learn, is still a little overwhelming.  I think I am more scared and shocked than excited as of yet, but I am sure that will wear off and I will be all hopped up to start by the time I am actually working again.  Here are all the details you are probably wondering about:

Who: Me!  Oh wait, you probably want to know what company.  I'll be working for The Mosaic Company (www.themosaiccompany.com), a small educational consulting firm based out of Renton.  They've been around since 1996 and now have about 60 employees working for them across the country.

What:  A JOB!  A full-time job.  It's my first exempt position, so now I feel like a real adult.  My official title?  Consultant.  Hey, that's already my title now while I'm doing contract work, so that won't be a big change for me!

When: My official start date isn't until July 21st, so I've got a few weeks to wrap up my current contract, really get the house cleaned and under control, and spend some quality time with family and friends.  I'm actually kind of glad they don't need me quite yet.

Where:  Initially in Renton while I go through orientation.  After that there is up to 100% travel possible, depending on what project they need people on.  I could be in Seattle, or fly off to Ohio, California, Alaska, or anywhere else they need me.  They tell me if I'm out of town for travel I fly out Sundays and come back Thursday nights, so that means I still get my weekends here either way.

So that's the story in a nutshell.  I negotiated for a salary that makes me decently happy, and between the benefits and the people I've met over there so far I think it will be a good fit for me.  I am looking forward to having a little more structure to my days again, and finding meaning in my daily life outside of the condo for a change of pace.  The time off has been a nice vacation, but stressful (as unemployment often is) and I am looking forward to using my new skills and stretching my abilities finally.

I suppose this calls for a party.  Maybe we will have a little open house celebration in mid-July for those of you who want to raise a glass with me to say farewell to my days of slothing around the house.  Details to come soon.  Thanks to all of you for the support you've given me over these past many months.  It was needed, and appreciated.  I still say I have the best set of friends a woman could ask for!